January 13, 2021 "What I Was" (continued)

1963

1963 Next alcoholic drink

Babysitting

Boy suddenly knocks on door. Not the norm. 

Blue eyes sparkling

Black hair shiny

Never spoke to him before but I saw him at school

He didn’t see me ever

Then he was outside my door suddenly

Mother and step “father” gone

He had beer. wow

We sat on the couch

In the metaphorical darkness

Drank a can

He drank a can

Feeling feeling feeling

Car in the driveway early

Shit

Boy runs out the front door

He’s gone

Never to be seen again by me

Push cans under the couch

Hear the backdoor open

"Father" goes upstairs

Mother comes in and with

a horrifying look sees the obvious

doings

"Father" hears mother scream

“Father” rushes down steps

Rips off belt with his usual flourish

with glee and determination

I run past him out the back door scared, but free

“Are you trying to make her run away?” mother yells

Down the street, safety, aunt’s house

Lay on her gold bedspread

Safety, comfort. But not for long. Home again. Fear is back again. The norm.

Preview of Common Attractions:

1965

1970 Married with 3 children at 21

1970#1 That awful night

1970#2

1971 The Quonset Hut

1972 Mike and the Band and Strawberry Sunshine

1972 Steve and My Search for Religion Through Satanism and Primal Scream Therapy

1974

1976

1978

1980

What I Became

2000

2002 Living between the breaths

What I Am Now